Afterthought on the Berlin Residency
Saturday, July 25th, 2009It's been a lot of firsts. My first Job, first trip to another country, first cross oceanic flight, all sorts. The whole experience was amazing. I learned, saw, and experienced so much.
Job... Work, even thought it wasn't really "work" by the definition I might give it, was awesome. There was stress, obviously, but the rewarding feeling were well worth it.
Time... There was so much time and so little to do (strike that, reverse it). But in seriousness, time had a strange presence in my experience. The waking up early made for extended days, which was great. And I guess the time difference, jet-lag and whatnot, from the flight added it's own subtleties without me really realizing it.
Day Melting... I found it slightly difficult to describe experiences, in reference to time, I'd say yesterday when it had happened that morning, that sort of thing. I also started mixing up days, thinking I had done SO much that day and realizing it had actually been over a span of 2 or even 3 days.
Sight Seeing... It was kinda cool to be a tourist. I've never really been big on pictures. Always felt it put a ripple in the experience to stop and take a picture. But at the end of this trip I had over 500 pictures and videos to boot. I could list everything I saw but don't really feel a need to. I went on a great tour and saw some great stuff without being guided. I also got "lost" in a park for a few hours (which was GRRRREAT, like Frosted Flakes). All of it produced some awesome pictures and great memories.
Recreation and Bonding... Spending time with friends, ALWAYS A GOOD PAST-TIME. It was really great to really start to get to know everyone. Coming into rehearsals after things had seemed to start getting settled was kind of a bummer, though it was probably good for me (hind sight is fun) And with my running between rehearsals and Joffrey it seemed to only add to the distance between myself and everyone else. It's nice to grow closer with everyone. We're a very eclectic group, but I feel we fit together very well (good job Nejla). I put recreation and bonding together because I feel that that's how it happened. During the recreation is when the bonding occurred. Again, I could list the recreations... dinner, dancing, drinking (and other non-D words)... but that seems a tad unnecessary. Those who were there know what happened, and those who were not need only know the result... A closer relationship as a company. In my opinion.
"Work"shop... The classes, rehearsals, discussions, shoots, showings. All of it was AWEsome. Again, being my first time experiencing something of that... caliber?... such a feeling of satisfaction, and again... AWE. "I DID THAT!" I could say at the end of the day. I worked hard and enjoyed myself.
Yup, it was real... There was an overall disbelief that it was all actually happening. I think with the combination of "Day Melting" and "First Timing" made it all seem slightly dreamlike. But it did happen, and it was an amazing experience.
When people asked me before I left if I was excited I would say "no". At first I think it was fear. All these firsts, all these unknowns... slightly frightening. But fear is a funny thing. I find that if you don't let it take over, after it subsides, what's left? Anticipation. Which is all fear is, anticipation that something "bad" is going to happen. But on the other side of that coin is... well I don't have a word for you, so you can call it whatever you'd like, but you get the idea (I hope)... there's one for ya, "hope". So after the fear was gone the answer was still "no" when people wold ask, but there wasn't any negativity with it. I wasn't excited because, to me, it was "just happening", I was interested to see what would come next, but not excited. With excitement you sometimes set yourself up for a "let down", which can be a bummer. But with no expectations there are no let downs. And I think starting off this Amazing Journey with that outlook is what set the stage to allow everything to fall into place.
